Circle of control

A circle of control sorts everything on your mind into three rings: what you control (your own actions), what you can influence (by asking, offering or trying), and what you can’t control at all. Put your energy into the inner rings and set the outer one down. List what is weighing on you and sort it below.

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A situation, in a few words.

One thing at a time: people, outcomes, your own actions.

Why sorting helps

Overthinking often spends the most time on the outer ring: what other people think, how things will turn out. Those are exactly the parts thinking can’t change. Seeing them written in the outer circle makes the difference visible, and leaves you with a short list of things you can actually do.

The NHS suggests accepting the worries you cannot control and bringing your attention back to the present. The NHS suggests a "worry tree" to tell apart problems you can solve from hypothetical worries that are beyond your control. For a problem you can solve, write down what you will do, how and when.

What goes where

  • I control: what I prepare, when I go to bed, whether I ask the question, how I reply.
  • I can influence: how a meeting goes, whether a friend understands, what my manager knows about my work.
  • Not mine to control: the weather, other people’s moods, the past, whether someone likes me.

Questions people ask

What if something fits two rings?

Split it. “The interview” is out of your control as an outcome, but your preparation is yours. Add each part as its own line.

Can I print it?

Yes. Your finished circle prints with your own items, and the worksheets page has a blank circle for paper.

Is anything saved?

No. The circle exists only on this page while it is open. Print it to keep it.

When to get help

These are self-help tools, not medical advice or a diagnosis. Talk to a doctor, or one of the lines below, if:

  • the thoughts stop you sleeping, working or seeing people most days;
  • you feel low or hopeless most of the time, or you have thoughts of harming yourself;
  • the thoughts feel unwanted and push you to check things or ask for reassurance again and again. OCD involves unwanted, intrusive thoughts that keep coming back, and compulsions such as asking for reassurance or checking. The NHS says it is important to get help if it has a significant impact on your life.

Free, confidential lines

  • US:988 Suicide & Crisis LifelineCall or text 988Free and confidential, 24/7. You can also chat at 988lifeline.org.
  • UK & Ireland:Samaritans116 123Free to call, day or night.
  • UK:NHS 111111, mental health optionUrgent help from the NHS when it is not an emergency.

If someone's life is at risk, call 999 or go to A&E. For urgent help in the UK, use NHS 111 online or call 111 and choose the mental health option. In the US, in life-threatening situations, call 911. Elsewhere, call your local emergency number.

Sources

  1. Tackling your worries. NHS Every Mind Matters. nhs.uk
  2. Symptoms - Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). NHS. nhs.uk
  3. Where to get urgent help for mental health. NHS. nhs.uk
  4. Suicide Prevention. National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). nimh.nih.gov
  5. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. 988lifeline.org
  6. Contact a Samaritan. Samaritans. samaritans.org

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