Overthinking a decision

When you keep going round a decision, more thinking rarely adds new information. Instead, list your options, name what matters to you and how much, score each option quickly, then set a “good enough” bar and a date to decide by. The scores won’t decide for you, but they show what you already know.

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Your options

At least two. “Do nothing” or “wait” can be one.

What matters to you here?

Up to five things, each with how much it matters.

Why “good enough” beats “perfect”

In studies, people who always try to find the best option ("maximizers") were less satisfied with their choices and more sensitive to regret than people who settle for an option that is good enough ("satisficers").

The tool asks you for a “good enough” bar before you choose: the conditions an option has to meet. Once one clears it, you have permission to stop searching.

Give the decision a date

An open-ended decision invites endless review. A decide-by date turns “I should think about it more” into “I will choose on Friday with what I know then”. If new information arrives before then, use it; if not, choose.

Questions people ask

What if the top score feels wrong?

Notice which option you were hoping would win. That reaction is information about what matters to you that the list missed. Add it as something that matters and score again.

What about big life decisions?

The card can help you see the shape of one, but talk big decisions through with someone you trust too.

Is anything saved?

No. The options and scores stay on this page while it is open. Print the card to keep it.

When to get help

These are self-help tools, not medical advice or a diagnosis. Talk to a doctor, or one of the lines below, if:

  • the thoughts stop you sleeping, working or seeing people most days;
  • you feel low or hopeless most of the time, or you have thoughts of harming yourself;
  • the thoughts feel unwanted and push you to check things or ask for reassurance again and again. OCD involves unwanted, intrusive thoughts that keep coming back, and compulsions such as asking for reassurance or checking. The NHS says it is important to get help if it has a significant impact on your life.

Free, confidential lines

  • US:988 Suicide & Crisis LifelineCall or text 988Free and confidential, 24/7. You can also chat at 988lifeline.org.
  • UK & Ireland:Samaritans116 123Free to call, day or night.
  • UK:NHS 111111, mental health optionUrgent help from the NHS when it is not an emergency.

If someone's life is at risk, call 999 or go to A&E. For urgent help in the UK, use NHS 111 online or call 111 and choose the mental health option. In the US, in life-threatening situations, call 911. Elsewhere, call your local emergency number.

Sources

  1. Schwartz B, Ward A, Monterosso J, Lyubomirsky S, White K, Lehman DR (2002). Maximizing versus satisficing: happiness is a matter of choice. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 83(5):1178–1197. PMID 12416921
  2. Symptoms - Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). NHS. nhs.uk
  3. Where to get urgent help for mental health. NHS. nhs.uk
  4. Suicide Prevention. National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). nimh.nih.gov
  5. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. 988lifeline.org
  6. Contact a Samaritan. Samaritans. samaritans.org

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