How to stop ruminating

Rumination is going over something from the past again and again, usually asking “why”. To step out of it, write what happened in plain facts, swap “why did I?” for “how exactly did it happen?”, look at it as an observer would, and decide whether anything is left to do. Then close it.

  • Free
  • No account
  • Nothing leaves your device

Pick the thing from the past your mind keeps going back to. Answer in a few words; nothing you type leaves this page.

Facts only, as if you were telling someone who was not there.

If the thought is unwanted and keeps pushing you to check things or ask for reassurance, this tool is not the right kind of help for it. Read about OCD on the NHS website.

Why going over it doesn’t help

Research on rumination finds that it enhances negative thinking and impairs problem solving. It can feel like working the problem out, even when it brings nothing new.

Why the tool asks “how”, not “why”

Instead of “why am I like this?”, the tool asks about the specific steps of what happened: what you did, what came next, what you could do differently. In a small pilot study of people with persistent low mood, adding a week of practice in more concrete, specific thinking about emotional events to relaxation training reduced depressive symptoms more than relaxation training alone.

In experiments, people who looked back on an upsetting experience from a distance, like "a fly on the wall", reacted less physically and recovered faster than people who relived it through their own eyes.

Thinking traps to watch for

  • Why-loops

    Asking "why" over and over without getting to anything you can do.

  • Labelling

    Turning one event into a verdict on who you are.

  • All or nothing

    Treating a mistake as if nothing else about the situation went right.

Questions people ask

Is ruminating the same as overthinking?

It is one kind. Rumination looks back at what happened; worry looks ahead at what might. If yours is mostly about the future, the worry tree and worry time fit better.

What if the memory is of something traumatic?

This tool is not meant for that. Memories of traumatic events deserve support from a professional. The lines under “When to get help” are a good place to start.

Is what I write saved?

No. It stays on this page while it is open. Print it if you want to keep it.

When to get help

These are self-help tools, not medical advice or a diagnosis. Talk to a doctor, or one of the lines below, if:

  • the thoughts stop you sleeping, working or seeing people most days;
  • you feel low or hopeless most of the time, or you have thoughts of harming yourself;
  • the thoughts feel unwanted and push you to check things or ask for reassurance again and again. OCD involves unwanted, intrusive thoughts that keep coming back, and compulsions such as asking for reassurance or checking. The NHS says it is important to get help if it has a significant impact on your life.

Free, confidential lines

  • US:988 Suicide & Crisis LifelineCall or text 988Free and confidential, 24/7. You can also chat at 988lifeline.org.
  • UK & Ireland:Samaritans116 123Free to call, day or night.
  • UK:NHS 111111, mental health optionUrgent help from the NHS when it is not an emergency.

If someone's life is at risk, call 999 or go to A&E. For urgent help in the UK, use NHS 111 online or call 111 and choose the mental health option. In the US, in life-threatening situations, call 911. Elsewhere, call your local emergency number.

Sources

  1. Nolen-Hoeksema S, Wisco BE, Lyubomirsky S (2008). Rethinking Rumination. Perspectives on Psychological Science 3(5):400–424. PMID 26158958
  2. Watkins ER, Moberly NJ (2009). Concreteness training reduces dysphoria: a pilot proof-of-principle study. Behaviour Research and Therapy 47(1):48–53. PMID 19036353
  3. Kross E, Ayduk O (2011). Making Meaning out of Negative Experiences by Self-Distancing. Current Directions in Psychological Science 20(3):187–191. berkeley.edu (PDF)
  4. Symptoms - Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). NHS. nhs.uk
  5. Where to get urgent help for mental health. NHS. nhs.uk
  6. Suicide Prevention. National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). nimh.nih.gov
  7. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. 988lifeline.org
  8. Contact a Samaritan. Samaritans. samaritans.org

A calmer mind, in your pocket

We're building a companion app for anxious, looping thoughts, with worry time and check-ins that stay on your phone. It isn't out yet. Leave your email to hear when it launches.